My greatest memories have nothing to do with the day I bought my first car at seventeen (which was a Honda Civic, by the way). Or about picking out a dress for prom. My greatest memories have nothing to do with spending a lot of money. My greatest memories have nothing to do with popularity (because let's be honest, I was far from being voted "most popular" in high school!) or being told I looked pretty, or anything like that. I would like to think that I'm different than that; not superficial.
My greatest memories; the memories I shall never forget- and that I will take to heaven with me.. Revolve around the "I love yous," and the joys that come from being a child and doing the things that children do.
When I was 10- I remember thinking that my grandma (who passed away from cancer when I was 11) hated me... Or at least didn't love me. I thought this of her because of her spending more time with my cousin than what she was spending with me. As an adult, I now understand why my cousin needed that little bit of extra time and love from her... But as a child, I couldn't make sense of what I was observing (grandma spending a lot more time with my cousin than she was spending with me). After my grandmother had found out that I thought that she didn't love me... Her and I were out and about driving around, when she stopped in a parking lot, looked me in the eyes and told me "I love you. I'll never stop loving you. And I've always loved you." I didn't realize at the time just how profound that moment would end-up being later on in my life. She died less than a year later and I have held onto that moment; the moment when we connected with our eyes and I genuinely knew and felt her everlasting love for me- I have held onto it ever since then. When I am down or sad or troubled, I know I can think back to her words. I know that I am loved. I know that she is there.
I remember being fifteen and my mom and I driving for what seemed like hours on end- just driving and making our way around an amazingly large lake. As we drove, we talked about life. We talked about our likes and dislikes and shared things about our own lives that the other person didn't know. I loved that day.
I'll always remember and always love the times when my dad and I would make a weekend trip, just the two of us, to my parents get-away home. As we would make the drive, usually in the dark, late hours of the night- my father would tell me stories of his boyhood. He would tell me about the adventures him and his brothers had as small children, and of the misadventures of his adolescence. I loved getting to hear about the life he led as a child.
I love the memories of spending time with my late puppy. He was beautiful in more ways than I can detail or put into writing. I loved dressing him up in his American Flag Old Navy t-shirt, or his little blue, down winter jacket.
I love having grown-up and spending the last 17 years with the most human-like kitty you could ever imagine meeting. I remember as a child, dressing her (my kitty) up in baby onsies and leaving one of the buttons in the crotch left un-done so her tail could come through... And from there I would put her into my doll stroller and walk her up and down the streets of my neighborhood. Usually she cried and meowed when I did this to her, in which case, neighbors would stop me and ask me what on earth was crying inside my baby buggy? Boy were they surprised to see my kitty dressed-up and unable to get away. But through it all... Her and I have both grown-up and grown-up together. She has created so many beautiful memories in my heart.
I remember one time in high school, when a boy broke my heart the night of prom, and instead of going to the dance, I spent the night on my bathroom floor, crying hysterically. I will never forget my mother coming in, sitting down beside me and placing her arm around me and telling me that "she loved me." I needed that so much right then and there.
I would like to think, that despite the up's and down's in each of our own personal lives- that there have been some happy moments. That we experienced what it was like to feel loved and needed. That we experienced joy and laughter. That someone told us that they loved and cared about us. These are the things that matter. Never forget your special memories... Afterall... No one can take your memories away from you, but it's up to you to remember them.
God Bless and have a wonderful weekend!
I have obviously been lacking in the blogging department these days- and I think that's okay. I have needed a bit of a break from the land of blogging, but we shall see if we can get myself back to rolling-in with exciting new posts.
I shall not be defined by the color of my skin, the money in my bank account, the clothes on my back, or the type of car that I drive.
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